Walk your bike into the car park!

TS;DR (Too Sarky; Don't Read)

I've been riding to work for around 30 years, and every year or two you see an email such as this, and it makes me laugh every time.

Dear cyclists,

For your health and safety, please ensure that you always dismount and walk your bicycle to the car park's bike cage.

Thank you and stay safe,

Office facilities.

So here is my response:

Dear facilities,

On my ride to work I encounter:

• Squeeze points on main roads shared with cyclist killing machines,
• Stressed and agro peak hour traffic,
• Super slippery road plate,
• Unmaintained and destabilizing bike paths,
• I could go on ...

And in the last 50 metres of my ride, travelling at walking speed into a quiet car park, where the worst that could happen is I might slip on polished concrete and bruise a hip; at that point my employer becomes concerned about my safety and encourages me to walk my bike?

(This is not a complaint, or an ask for action. Just an opportunity to share in the humour of the situation.)

One of your friendly cyclists.